On Marriage and Being In The Same Boat

Posted on June 13, 2013 by abby

My grandfather stood before John and me the night he married us and spoke of the college degrees we had just earned. While they were good accomplishments, he told us to get ready because we were about to enter the “University of Hard Knocks”, and it would be best, rewarding, and rightly lived staying together.

Surely, these are some of the days to which he was referring.

John and I are living hard days, not because we did anything wrong even though we’ve lived those times together too. The time is hard because of truth, that “In this world you will have trouble.” Because we are one, we are in the same boat.

In the beginning of this particular ride, both of us rose to the task, each grabbing “an oar” to do the next thing we knew. We were strong, believed faith journeys were worth the fight, and pushed off from the bank of one situation to be led to shores of another. We also didn’t think this journey would be this long. Currently we are midway across “this pond”. What we left is far behind us now, but we still can’t see the shores of what is ahead. Ahh yes……the blessed waiting phase.

We are still paddling, sometimes with the vigor we had in the beginning; sometimes not. Sometimes John has to paddle harder because he can see my arms are weary. Sometimes he doesn’t even have to look to see how I am, he can just feel it as our boat tries to move along, and he does what is needed to keep us on track. At other times, those roles are reversed. Our situation is uncomfortable, and everyday I pray for its end.

The other day I had lunch with a friend and she spoke of a marriage that was ending. She said the lady “wasn’t willing to do the hard things to get to the really good stuff”, and my friend rolled her eyes and said it in such a tone as to say, “Is that not crazy? What a waste! She missed out.” My friend said this not because she doesn’t understand hard times, for she certainly does, but more importantly she also knows the joy on the other side.

Our culture has spoken a lie that a spouse is only to be there to provide a sweet life and if it doesn’t look sweet, then bail! It is an easy lie because marriage is hard; it just is. The evil one is prowling to “steal, kill, and destroy”, and this culture lie has stolen many opportunities for people to be shaped into gold and enjoy rewards their minds and hearts cannot imagine.

My marriage to John is rich, but not because we’ve always had it easy. What character does the easy life produce?! It has been because we have had seasons that haven’t gone our way, they’ve been challenging, have emptied us out of our own agendas, and led us to lean harder on the only Rock that is true: The Lord. We have stories together, and they are exciting because they also involve the element of conflict, and don’t the best stories always have conflict? We also have joy and a lot of it. What would become of our treasure of joy if a conflict was allowed to win. Are we willing to throw that overboard too?!

So we paddle on and the ripples in the water could have names: perseverance, patience, grace, mercy, commitment. God is ultimately the one pushing our boat along, but He needs to change us, refine us, teach us in the process so He tells us to stay in the boat and do the work all while resting and trusting in Him. He is in control.

Someday this season of time will be over. I’m excited to see the revelation of God’s plan in this journey. It’s coming. It will be good because God is good. I also want to be with John. We will laugh and celebrate as every finish of a good race deserves. We’ll add the story to our collection and be able to tell the whole adventure together, for it will be lived together. I pray we will be more radiant for each other because we’ve both been in the fire being changed, and we’ll get to enjoy “the really good stuff” because we’ve been through the hard things….together. Glory to God!

John 16:33

³³I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart;I have overcome the world.”

2 Corinthians 3:18

¹⁸And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

Hebrews 12:2

²looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Truth

Brothers and Best Friends

Posted on May 24, 2013 by abby

Years ago, we lived on Woodridge Drive in Abilene, Texas, a neighborhood street with at least 22 resident children ranging from preschool to junior high. Fifteen of the 22 were boys, including ours, and were the same ages as our children. It was a blast. We lived in the middle of the street and had a circle driveway great for looping bicycles plus a side driveway with a basketball goal. There was constant activity and always someone to play with. The day we moved from Woodridge Drive to head north to Kansas, a group of the boys said “Good-bye!” by running behind our car as we left the street even turning the corner with us until they had to drop back. I heaved as I cried driving away watching them in the rear-view mirror. I loved those children.

Our house on Bitner Terrace in Pittsburg, Kansas, did not offer the same kind of fun. We did have some friends a couple of houses down for the first year, but they moved, and we were left alone. Our boys had plenty of friends at school and church, and we loved having them in our home, but most of the time when we were at home our boys had just each other. On Bitner Terrace our sons became not only brothers but also best friends.

We sold our Kansas house this month, and I left behind a letter to the new owners listing the paint colors used around the house, explaining the finish on the kitchen island, and telling them to watch the gutters on the south side of the house when the trees dropped blossoms in the spring. I told them what the house had meant to us as a family, and then went on to write this:
“Now, let me explain the basement. You will see dart holes in the walls, red duct tape holding something in place, and various holes in the ceiling, but please know this is the place where my sons played hard and became not only brothers, but also best friends.” I’m not sure the new owners will “feel the love”, but to me the space is priceless.

My sons were given time to be alone pulled from other distractions and space to be whatever age they wanted to play. They stayed up late, wrestled, imagined, laughed, fought, watched movies, played games, and created. They didn’t have to be cool for each other. We emphasized home was a safe place for us and needed to be respected. Some stories were never to leave the walls of our home but were for us to enjoy as a family. Sometimes our boys would moan about the lack of other children living close by. Our response was explaining they had their whole lives to surround themselves with friends, but they had only these years to live at home as brothers. They seemed to get it.

As I write, I’m a week away from my oldest son becoming a high school senior. He has a job hours away at a camp this summer. My second will get his drivers license this fall. The younger two boys are already talking about how it will be different when Jace leaves. I’m on the cusp of a new family season where adventures will be lived more fragmented from each other. This is the way it is supposed to be, and it will be good. Bittersweet……and I’m hearing this word come out of my mouth WAY too often these days. A desire of my heart was for my children to be best friends, and I humbly bow in thanksgiving at God’s orchestration of time and space for this to happen. Great relationships aren’t a given; they must be created, and what we’ve experienced is those most treasured must also be planned intentionally and fought for in a world of distraction.

What seemed like a squelch on fun leaving our former child-teaming neighborhood ended up being one of our greatest gifts. This is what God is always up to: blessing and giving and not only what is good…..but what is best.

Psalm 37:4

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Truth

Our Kansas Home

Posted on May 17, 2013 by abby

Every house where love abides

And friendship is a guest,

Is surely home, a home sweet home,

For there the heart can rest.

-Henry Van Dyke

There is a process of a house becoming a home, and it doesn’t just happen overnight; the process is called “life”. Everyday moments naturally collect and inevitably bring meaning to even the simple. Last week I spent several days boxing up our possessions and cleared them from our Kansas residence. Over nine months ago, a change came quickly for our family; we took our clothes and computer and left the rest while our house sat staged on the market. In God’s perfect timing, the house sold recently thus bringing me back to officially close our time in Pittsburg, Kansas. Bittersweet…….a common word……yet a description that just nails the situation.

It was weird and yet natural returning to our house. A part of me was ready to just pick back up with life where I left off, but boxes waiting to be filled reminded me of God’s different plan. So I packed and dear forever friends came alongside me packing and helping me walk in this new direction. I took lots of pictures of our house, and while they are fun for us to look through and remember, the images (especially in their tidy staged form) remind me the life that made our house a home is still with me: my husband and three sons. Someday life will pour again into another house and together we will once again transform a house into a home. It will be so much fun. I will love that season of time! I’m praying for it already!

I thought I would give you a little tour since some of you have not been to see us in Kansas. Come in! Come in! You might have to mentally picture shoes here and there, maybe a few random stacks of laundry around, something going on in the kitchen, etc. to get the real picture, but please!…..be our guest.

The entry picture is dark, but this space awaits you as you walk in the door. I took all these pictures quickly using my iPhone, so bear with me and my lack of photo skills. Hopefully you can still get the picture of our home. You can kinda see the view out our front door in this dark entry picture. An empty lot was across the street which turned into a great football playing field.

Standing in the entry and turning to your right, you look into our study. The Christmas tree stood in this room at one time. The piano is hidden from sight in this picture, but it was well used. Love music playing through the house!

Again, standing in the entry but now turning to your left, you will see the dining room. A table holds all kinds of stories, doesn’t it?

The boards on either side of the mirror were old closet doors I found on the side of the road. They were painted bright primary colors. I textured, painted, and then found a long scripture to just begin writing/painting. Filled the space just right.

Standing in the entry and now facing forward, you enter our family room with a view of the sunroom just beyond.

The kitchen was on one side of the space and the family room on the other. The kitchen was a nice big space. The walls look blue in the picture, but really they were painted with a metallic paint called ”Iron Gate” by Ralph Lauren. I liked it. My sister and dad visited one Spring Break and made the kitchen island for us. It was the center and workhorse of the family. We usually ate weekday meals around this island. All kinds of projects were worked out here. I have an image in my mind of the island loaded with yummy dishes brought by our small group from church and the large group reaching over each other trying to fill their plates. Good times! I loved this island. It killed me to have to leave it. Good thing I still have my sister and dad handy!

The red piece at the end was a piece of broken sheet rock I painted and it reads “Glorify the Lord with me. Let us exalt His name together. Psalm 34:3″ Yes!

This was the view out the kitchen window. We had a big open area behind our house with a tree line as the border. Loved it. Looked beautiful in the fall and in the white of winter.

The family room.

On another Spring Break visit by my sister and dad, the mantle was built. Yes, there was a theme to their visits (also notice the headboards in each of the boys’ rooms). They bless me. They declared they had a great time working on a project together. Personally, I think I got the great end of the deal.

I wrote this scripture on a chalkboard right when everything became a little (a lot) crazy. It was still there when I returned the other day. It is definitely truth the Lord has instilled in me in this loooong trust journey.

French doors on either side of the fireplace lead you to the sunroom. I took some killer Sunday afternoon naps on that couch! Loved the natural light for various projects. Loved the view outside.

A hallway on the other side of the family room led to the bedroom/bath area. Here is Jayton’s bedroom.

…….and Jace’s room…….

……and the Master bedroom. The owners before us had left a bunch of random doors down in the basement. A couple of the doors were painted and became our headboard.

Close to the kitchen, a stairway led to a basement, a.k.a. “the man-cave”. I don’t have any pictures with me right now showing how it looked with furniture in the space. We had a couple of red couches, a treadmill, a punching bag, and a big T.V. This space was used HARD……..like, I can’t even express that enough. Both of the red couches had to be thrown away instead of moved. There are dart holes in the wall where they kept missing the dart board. Swords and various things used as swords created holes in the ceiling. A Ping-Pong table was at the far end of the room. A friend of my sons came over when I was packing and just stood and shook his head and laughed saying, “Oh, the stories I can tell of this space.” I know that is right. It was soooooo wonderful to have a space like this for them……..and for me, it was out of sight, out of mind. Blessed us all. Oh! It blessed us during MANY a Kansas tornado warning too!!!

Jax actually had his bedroom down in the basement as well. It kinda creeped me out, but he loved it. He could get out his guitar and play and sing as loud as he wanted. Plus, it offered him a little space from his brothers from time to time. Again, a gift of harmony to us all.

Here is a view from our backyard. This was actually the selling feature to me. Boys ran hard from one end to the other of this space. Many a capture-the-flag game took place here.

A firepit with five chairs surrounding were stationed on the concrete patio. We cranked the music, broke out the s’more fixings, strummed guitars, laughed, talked. Good times. Sweet times. *sigh*

In our Kansas house, love did abide,

……..and friendship was our guest.

Our house became our home, a place our heart did indeed rest,

…… and I pray offered rest and a cup filled to others as well.

“Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:5-8

Truth

Connections

Posted on April 22, 2013 by abby

Old North Bridge in Concord, Massachusetts.

Someday I will tell stories of what this season of transition in our lives was like. I will tell of the sweetness of living life with our parents, of being so out of control with our life that we realized we just needed to sit back and watch God, of walking out Bible verses with our children, of God’s steady faithful hand of provision. I will smile and say “It was bittersweet,” because while it is sweet with thanksgiving, we have been allowed to taste the bitter too. I’m praying this will add color, depth, sweetness, and meaning to seasons ahead; otherwise, what good is the taste of bitter.

Disconnection is one of the bitter herbs I’ve tasted. This takes me by surprise because I’m staying in an area of some of my longest deepest connections. I’m even living with my parents. So, disconnection?

Our living situation all along in this transition has only been temporary, and we’ve had no idea how long it would last. We’ve lived not being able to plan, grow roots, and settle. It has been surface living at best. We actually used to live in the town where we are staying, but seven years have passed, and there seems with many there is so much catching up that needs to be done to get back to the deep places with one another. John found work in another town, yet the time hasn’t been right to move to that town because of an unsold house and a school calendar. John travels to see us on the weekends or sometimes we go to him; he has literally lived out of a suitcase solid now for eight months. The time we do have together on weekends, we try to drink each other in before going single again through the week. We love worshiping as a family together on Sundays……holding each other tight. We’ve always enjoyed this time, but in other situations each one of us has had deep involvement with others and the work of the church causing us to often be one of the last ones out of the building when worship was over. Our church family in the past has always been that……”family”, and it feels weird now to show up for the worship service and then leave without that “family” feel. Disconnected.

I’ve talked with friends over the years about the time of life we are in with our families, when our childrens’ activities and ages have left us with only time for our own family and not as much time for our friendships. It is an intense season as our little ones are picking up speed on their runway before their take-off. It is our main ministry and where our energy needs to be for a fleeting season, yet to connect heavily in one area of life also means disconnection in another.

So, all that to say, I feel disconnected from community.

Jax at the Old North Church in Boston.

Recently, I attended a writers/bloggers/business conference in Dallas. I had read about the event for years and was thrilled to have the opportunity to go……along with 700 other people. I went not knowing anyone, but I was OK with that. I don’t usually have a problem walking in and meeting a room full of strangers. The conference lasted two and a half days and was characterized by great informative teaching but also a lot of spare time to be able to network with the other attendees. I had read networking was an important part of the event so I searched for person after person who looked friendly, open, and available to share, and I did meet some wonderful new people. It was small talk really and when over, barely a surface was scratched because of realities of time and purpose. By the last day, I was over-the-top tired and strung out, overly sensitive, and found myself pushing through the day. At lunch instead of going with a group for more “scratch” conversation, I searched and found an area away from the other 700 women, fell into a chair, and sunk as deep as I could to get away from everything I was feeling. Why was I acting this way?! Why was being alone in the sea of people at this event pushing me over a ledge?! Why did I feel so unstable…..scratched?! Abby!! Get it together!!!

It started dawning on me the importance of connection and how connections don’t just give you roots when you are home, they are a part of your groundedness on your excursions. They are a home base, a safe place, a strength builder, a place of belonging and stability. Connections are a safety rope tied around your waist keeping you tethered so you know you won’t just be flung out in open space lost to float aimlessly beyond all reach. They are the rope that assures you won’t fall so hard you will break. Connection is not just being with people, it is the linking to a middle core, and you have to be welcomed and see, hear, and feel your way into that sacred place of another. It takes time and effort, yet to ignore it is to also miss life.

This makes me think of all the people I encounter on a day to day basis. How many people feel like they are just floating aimlessly about? What would it mean to someone to just let them know you “see” them and not because they might be in your way……but that you “see” them……one worthy of acknowledgement, a smile, a comment, and truth that being in this world together already gives you a base for connection. To touch a heart and offer an invitation really might be simple….. like filling something that is empty.

Tonight John and I are going to dinner with some old friends. Our families schedules are finally affording us the opportunity. I think I’ll be fully aware of every color, smell, and seasoning as I’ll be drinking in the moment deep. We will see not only each others faces, but each soul as well. We want to open up to them and show them their rope is still tethered to our core, and we will check to make sure ours is still with them as well for connection is not only a gift, but life.

1 Peter 1:22

Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.

Truth

The Celebration Table

Posted on April 8, 2013 by abby

Recently I had the opportunity to hear Jon Acuff speak. I don’t know if you are familiar with him, but you need to be if not. He works for Dave Ramsey in Nashville, speaks across the nation, has written some books, and writes regularly here and here. He is HILARIOUS yet also speaks some solid wisdom. He spoke on….well, lots: creativity, work habits, learning, editing, mastering, harvesting, starting, support, and more. One of his points resonated deeply with me, and I keep mulling the idea around in my head: the importance of having a “Celebration Table”.

A “Celebration Table” speaks of an invitation to a select few who will come and celebrate you.

Photo source

We lean on each other, share burdens and concerns, and pray, but often when the really great thing happens, we downplay the situation, not wanting to be arrogant and prideful. Sometimes we are just exhausted at the end of a journey and don’t want to call attention any more to a situation because we feel we have already worn everyone around us out talking about it. However, “there is a time for everything under the sun”, and we need to embrace times of rejoicing in answered prayers, accomplishments, a finished race…..and celebrate!! This is a fun part of life, and these moments need to be lived full when they come!

There is a reason there is such a big hoopla at the end of a race because there is accomplishment, a finish, a victory, and it gears one up to want to do it again and again. Would times of perseverance change if we envisioned the party at the end and then literally had a “Celebration Table” when it was over? I’m thinking about my own life, about friends walking through healing in marriage, about professional projects going on with others, personal goals, medical issues. I SEE these people. I’m walking with them as they are with me. What we are doing is HARD, and a party will be in order when it is over.

Photo source

Not to poop this party so soon, but a comment Jon Acuff made to keep in mind is being careful who you invite to your “celebration table”. They need to be the same ones you would welcome at a “challenge table”. These are the ones who can speak freely to you and you will listen, who tell you what is wisdom and truth, and who will walk the distance with you in sun or rain. These are the ones you celebrate when a party needs to be thrown for them while you are still walking in the dumps.

I’ve been in a long waiting season, and let me tell you…….I’m planning my “celebration table” party in my head. I can see faces I will gather. Some of this party will need to be a virtual experience as not all live close to me, and I’m going to have to think creatively as these people are most valued in my life and sit in prominent places in my heart. Candles will be lit, the table decorated, the food will be good, and we will pray. I will sigh with relief and breathe in deep the moment because it is not me that we will celebrate, but HE……the Lord…..the One who has been working all things for His glory. Glory! He wants us to see His GLORY! He wants us to celebrate His GLORY!

Yes, bring on that celebration table!

Photo source

Luke 15:9

And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’

Truth

John and I

Posted on February 14, 2013 by abby

I met John my freshman year of college. We were good friends for many months before deciding we were meant for something more. After a few years of dating, we married, December 9, 1989, the day after he finished his degree. My grandfather performed our marriage ceremony that night. I remember him saying to us that we felt we knew each other then and loved each other, but time would go on, years would be shared, and one day we would realize that our love had gone deeper. He said he was speaking from 50+ years of experience…..and the love continued to grow deeper, richer still.

It is funny to look back on those wedding pics and see how young we were making such a huge life decision. Actually, it is scary… but for the grace of God. I knew that night I married John that he loved God, loved me, loved people, and together we would have fun living for our one shared goal: to live for God and one day spend eternity with our Lord.

And the years have gone by.

We have lived in 5 different towns and added 3 sons to our family. Life has happened along the way……..teaching boys, deep friendships, disappointments, hard laughs, bad decisions, good decisions, rejoicing, work, vacations, blessing times, desert times, worship.

And love has deepened.

We definitely know more about each other, and forgiveness is on a daily basis, but what has stayed constant and has even grown with passion is our one. shared. goal.

I want to see John reach his goal with all my being, and he feels the same for me. We are a team. We have come to know all too well that there is opposition…..a force that would love to see our team torn apart……but ultimately this opposition is not against each other. No, “not against flesh and blood”. Knowing this, we are able to continue to “move down the field” together watching each other’s back, making sure that we stay facing the same direction, and working out our faith with fear and trembling. Together we are stronger for his strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. These 23 years together have been adventure and joy. We are in the middle of this game, and excitement continues to build as we press on to our goal.

I don’t know much about what future years may bring, but this I do know:

we will love God
we will love each other
together we will have a blast loving on other people
love will grow richer
and one day we will reach that one. shared. goal.

Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Philippians 2:2

I’m praying not only for them but also for those who will believe in me because of them and their witness about me. The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind— Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you, So they might be one heart and mind with us. Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me. The same glory you gave me, I gave them, So they’ll be as unified and together as we are— I in them and you in me. Then they’ll be mature in this oneness, And give the godless world evidence that you’ve sent me and loved them in the same way you’ve loved me.

John 17:20-23 (the Message)

Truth

Thoughts on Parenting and Riding in the Passenger Seat

Posted on October 10, 2012 by abby

I started my parenting journey thinking because I had come from a good family situation, I knew what I was doing and could handle being a mother just fine.

“Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

Yes, let me be the first one to verify that truth.

In God’s infinite wisdom, He gave me a strong-willed first-born. Quickly, I was thrown to my face realizing and declaring I could do nothing on my own……that if our child would amount to anything, it would have to be the Lord and Him alone. I moved from the driver’s seat to my prepared passenger seat and have enjoyed the ride much more ever since.

Life has happened, and it has been full of life indeed. Today, my second-born son, Jax, turns fifteen, and my heart and mind are full of experiences with him I never could have orchestrated on my own. Adventure…….pure adventure! Each day has held a bucket-full of opportunities to love, teach, pray, thank, celebrate,……and all along the way the Lord has told me to just point to Him. That’s all. He is in the driver’s seat. He holds the plans for my son. He knows where he is going.

Today I listen to my child worship with his gift of music, and the Lord’s presence humbles me as I witness His handiwork in Jax. I see Jax’s nature in how he loves others, and I smile at God’s glory. I watch as my child makes decisions and develops habits, and I thank God he allows me to see His manifestations in my child. How great is the joy when it is His glory I behold. How pathetic it would have been to see only what I could have done.

How I praise you, Lord, for picking me up, taking me out of the driver’s seat, yet letting me enjoy this ride with you. To say you’ve taken me on the beautiful scenic route would be an understatement.

And I just can’t wait to see what’s ahead!

Happy Birthday, Son!

Truth

Trust

Posted on September 12, 2012 by abby

There is a big full tree in our neighborhood my youngest son and I studied every fall as the seasons changed. The green leaves one by one turned red as the days began to turn cooler. To watch the tree reach its peak fiery red color took weeks, yet each day signalled the new season was slowly but surely being ushered in day by day.

I’m currently in a new season myself except unlike the loved tree which transformed over weeks, I’m reminded of the pear tree once standing in our yard. Once……meaning “not any more”. Straight-line winds, a term I learned while living in Kansas, blew over our home one night sending us to seek refuge in our basement for ten whole minutes. 10 minutes. The pear tree was standing tall in our yard one minute and literally was down the next.

Life for our family was normal one minute then transformed the next. My husband had a job in Kansas one moment, but he and his department was outsourced the next.

Within a week and a half our house was on the market, kids enrolled in a new school district in Texas (perfect timing, Lord? Two weeks before school?), and a move made to stay with parents while we wait on the Lord and His direction. The Lord moved us so swiftly we didn’t even have time to say good-bye to dear friends.

“Trust.”

Ahhh, yes Lord. You gave me the word “Trust” at the first of this year. I did hear you.

And I do trust Him. I always have. But deep calls to deep, and there are times when the Lord calls upon a trust that must be pulled from the depths, and He wants us to walk it out. He is not seeking head knowledge. He wants the physical, and He wants the physical to be strong. It is Abraham holding his son and laying him down on the altar. It’s the priests carrying the ark stepping foot into the Jordan to cross into the Promised Land. It is David standing up to Goliath.

What’s going to be my story? The question is not whether I will walk this or not……that is not a choice. It is how I walk this, and with all my heart, I want to walk this journey well…….for God is worthy. I trust Him. I do.

So I am praying…..a lot. Meditating on His truth……a lot. Finding times to be quiet…..a lot. Waiting…..a lot. I feel I do not have control over anything right now…….nothing……and yet I know it’s a good place to be. A true place to be. My hands that held tightly to things of this earth now reach for only Him, and I am thankful for it is my Savior my Lord I want to behold.

I trust the Lord.

“In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out EVERYTHING in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:11-12

“This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. NOW CHOOSE LIFE, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life….” Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Truth

A Tale of Two Cake Mixes

Posted on June 27, 2012 by abby

I sat slumped in my chair as my then five year old son excitedly posed his question to me:

“Can we bake a cake and throw an ‘I LOVE JESUS’ party?”

I sighed. I was hurting inside. Throwing a party was the last thing I wanted to do. I really wanted him to run off and play somewhere and just let me be. But as he stood in front of me with his eyes bright with hope, I remembered I actually had a box of cake mix in the pantry. I never kept that kind of stuff on hand. I even had a can of frosting to go with the mix. Double crazy! As I sat dazed wondering why in the world I actually had the ingredients on hand, I realized I had no reason to say no. Ingredients aside, how could I even say no to my beaming child wanting to throw Jesus a party?! With a simple nod and quiet “Yes”, I moved off my chair and made my way to the kitchen to begin a party.

Our tight knit neighborhood street housed 22-26 kids at the time, and we were a middle house with a circle drive and basketball goal. It was easy to have an impromptu party. All you had to do was stand at the front door , declare that it was party time, and a crowd instantly gathered. We told the neighborhood kids a cake was in the oven, and the party would be because “WE LOVE JESUS!”. Some made signs and banners. At the party before the cake was cut and served, each child told why they loved Jesus. Out of mouths of babes flowed one praise after another. I stood soaking in their young responses still amazed at the party before me.

I had no idea I would be throwing a party when I woke that day. It just happened and on a day when that was the furthest from my mind and heart. I think back to the party believing while we were declaring it was all for Jesus, it was actually Jesus giving celebration and purpose to me…. pulling me off that chair and teaching and guiding me in how to bless His name “when I was found in that desert place.” Having a cake mix in the pantry that day had not just been a coincidence.

“Blessed be Your name, when I’m found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, Blessed be Your name……” (words and music of Matt and Beth Redman)

Years later…….in a different stage of life…….in a completely different town and home, I once again opened my pantry to find a box of cake mix waiting to be used. This time I was the one stirring up the party. It was a season of feeling life being returned to my dry bones, and joy just could not be contained. I deemed it “Celebration Cake” for this wasn’t just any ol’ cake. There was reason behind this cake: the Lord was so good! John, our sons, and I ate and laughed and relished in pure joy. Celebration indeed!

“Blessed be Your name, in the land that is plentiful, where Your streams of abundance flow, Blessed be Your name”.

Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise…….When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say…….

“Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be Your name! Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be Your glorious name!”

I smile thinking back to those two occasions when a mix “just happened’ to be in the pantry. Seasons of life come and go. In times of joy, bake that cake and celebrate just for celebration sake! In the other times, grab a cake mix and stick it in your pantry. You never know when you might need to throw an “I LOVE JESUS” party and name praises and remind yourself of His constant goodness. It might be seeing the mix in the pantry will prepare you for truth that celebration will come. Jesus will carry you through the waters to the other side…….and, yes, there is another side. And when that day comes, joy will break open and will not be able to be contained. It will be time to celebrate!

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.” Isaiah 43:2

“For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” Psalm 100:5

Truth

Summer Fun

Posted on June 14, 2012 by abby

This summer we will travel to see family and new places too. Souvenirs will be bought reminding us of the days. However, the treasures of this season have already started to gather even though we have not left our little town. Here are some of the highlights of this summer to date:

Love Does

If there is one book you just must read this summer, it needs to be Love Does by Bob Goff. I could just gush on and on about this book for hours. Here is a little insight into the author from Amazon’s website:

As a college student he spent 16 days in the Pacific Ocean with five guys and a crate of canned meat. As a father he took his kids on a world tour to eat ice cream with heads of state. He made friends in Uganda, and they liked him so much he became the Ugandan consul. He pursued his wife for three years before she agreed to date him. His grades weren’t good enough to get into law school, so he sat on a bench outside the Dean’s office for seven days until they finally let him enroll.

Bob Goff has become something of a legend, and his friends consider him the world’s best-kept secret. Those same friends have long insisted he write a book. What follows are paradigm shifts, musings, and stories from one of the world’s most delightfully engaging and winsome people. What fuels his impact? Love. But it’s not the kind of love that stops at thoughts and feelings. Bob’s love takes action. Bob believes Love Does.

Bob Goff, by the way, is one of Donald Miller’s great friends. I love this book because of the truths it expresses through his life stories (which are fascinating and often hilarious!). The idea of living life as a great story has continued to capture me over the last few years. It is living with your eyes wide open and heart on the anvil willing to be shaped by the Father of great adventure. It is grabbing the opportunities He daily gives, and living letting the love the One and Only has lavished upon you come pouring out onto others. Must read!

Lord of the Rings

With The Hobbit coming to theatres this December, one of my summer goals was to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Somehow I missed seeing each part when it hit the big screen, and I have this bad habit of falling asleep when we rent movies. I was determined though to watch them this summer, and my sons gladly joined me as it is their favorite series. Oh, my! What a story! Symbolism all over the place! I realize I’m about 10 years behind in my comments. Many have “been there…..done that”. I know it has been at least that long I’ve been listening to a best friend (the biggest “Ring-y” you’ll ever meet!) talk about these movies. I knew to continue to grow that treasured friendship, I would eventually need to watch all three movies. My sons and I watched about 30 minutes to an hour for several evenings discussing as we went along. The goal was accomplished yet exceeded my expectation because while the story was amazing, the time and discussion with my boys was an absolute treasure. I may have to watch the triology again to try to catch everything I know I missed. Loaded story!!

The Firepit

What is the phrase…”If you build it, they will come”? I don’t know if I have that exactly right, but it has been the case with our firepit. The wood is gathered and lit (boys have this fascination with lighting things on fire, don’t they?), and we all drop what we are doing and circle around. S’mores are cooked and music plays. I’ve decided that red hot coals are about as mesmerizing as watching waves crash on a beach. Totally relaxing. One night, on a whim, we grabbed a stack of cards belonging to a game. The cards ask questions about life experiences, memories, different thoughts, etc. One by one the questions were asked and answered, and I think I will forever remember the evening. We laughed so hard we cried, we said things we each needed to hear for encouragement, we recounted funny stories, we heard some of what the boys were storing in their hearts, ………..priceless. One of the cards asked you to describe a good time you had with your family. Jace, our 17 year old, quickly said, “This night! This night is a great night.” And it truly was.

I know you are busy enjoying this season as well. I would love to hear what you are doing that is pouring life into your summer. Blessings to you this season!

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Truth

Painting Truth

Looking for Truth in Everyday Moments

Category Archives: Family

On Marriage and Being In The Same Boat

John 16:33

Hebrews 12:2

Brothers and Best Friends

Our Kansas Home

Connections

The Celebration Table

John and I

Thoughts on Parenting and Riding in the Passenger Seat

Trust

A Tale of Two Cake Mixes

Summer Fun

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