I’ve noticed in this season of waiting my senses are at their peak for anything that might be a leading or directive from the Lord. One night I laid still in my bed with a deafening silence around me. I mentioned to the Lord if he wanted to go ahead and say something to me I was “all ears” and ready. Silence. It was so silent the proverbial crickets that should have been chirping could not be heard. Nothing. “Well, O.K., Lord.” I said. “I understand this is sometimes how you are. I understand. I guess I”ll just….um…..go on to sleep now.” And oft I drifted to sleep in the silence.
The next morning I bound out of bed. “His mercies are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness!” (Lamentations 3:23). Surely the Lord had something new he wanted to share with me that day! With hunger and excitement for the Word, I opened and read James 2. It was full of good stories. One was about Abraham and Isaac……how Abraham was faithful, but he was considered righteousness when he laid Isaac on the altar. “Faith without deeds is dead”, verse 26 says. It was a good read. It wasn’t the story about a house selling or a job found as I had hoped and felt I needed. But, you know, ol’ Abraham and Isaac……always good. Next on the reading list was Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. “Entrust your loved ones to me; release them into My protective care.” (August 23 entry) “Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac.” Hmmm. ”Abraham and Isaac” again. Well, again, it wasn’t the story I was seeking, but OK. That is what I was given for the day…….so there.
It was time to move on with the day following my reading. My two older sons had a football scrimmage in the late afternoon, and my oldest son, Jace, was causing me some concerns especially the closer it came to game time. Immunizations earlier in the week had caused flu-like symptoms and were putting a kink in the flow of our schedule. He felt awful, and I was beginning to feel the tension in me of whether we should push on with the commitment or let my motherly sympathies overrule. I’ve learned, being the mother of boys, sometimes you have to just keep pressing on even though I really just want to wrap him up in a blanket and rock him until all is well in the world. I tried calling John for help; he was tied up in meetings and couldn’t respond. Ugh! The decision was mine…….to go or not to go. We drove to the school in silence and frustration. The school bus awaited to take the team to the town of the game…..a town two hours away. Just the look of the bus turned my stomach as well. I hated it! A school bus……100+ temperature outside……riding with kids Jace still didn’t really know…….an upset stomach……football. Ugh! Would he just spend his time throwing up on that bus? What a way to continue to introduce yourself as the new kid! My oldest looked at me like I was cruel and loosing my mind as I pushed him out of the car to get on the bus. Surely I was about to be named ”Mother of the Year”.
But as I drove away from my son and the bus, I felt the rush of the stories of Abraham and Isaac read earlier in the day, and I realized the Lord had indeed given what was needed. “Give your son to me!“ I know I heard God say to me. “This is between me and him. I need you out of the way. Give Jace to me!”.Tears rolled down my cheeks as peace flowed.
So, what happened on the bus? He did not get sick (Praises!), but he did sit with a boy who eventually asked “How can I get to Heaven?” The good news of the gospel was shared to which the boy responded, “I have never heard that before.”
Lord, thank you for giving what you know we need daily. I pray I savor your Word and not dismiss. I pray for wisdom as a mother to know when to intervene and when you want me out of your way. You are doing a work that is just between you and my boy, for he is your son first. I trust you. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.
“The unfolding of your words give light; it gives understanding to the simple.” Psalm 119:130
“For you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.” Revelation 4:11b