Category Archives: Parenting

Thoughts on Parenting and Riding in the Passenger Seat

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I started my parenting journey thinking because I had come from a good family situation, I knew what I was doing and could handle being a mother just fine. 

“Pride goes before destruction,
    a haughty spirit before a fall.”  Proverbs 16:18

Yes, let me be the first one to verify that truth.

In God’s infinite wisdom, He gave me a strong-willed first-born.  Quickly, I was thrown to my face realizing and declaring I could do nothing on my own……that if our child would amount to anything, it would have to be the Lord and Him alone.  I moved from the driver’s seat to my prepared passenger seat and have enjoyed the ride much more ever since.

Life has happened, and it has been full of life indeed.  Today, my second-born son, Jax, turns fifteen, and my heart and mind are full of experiences with him I never could have orchestrated on my own.  Adventure…….pure adventure!  Each day has held a bucket-full of opportunities to love, teach, pray, thank, celebrate,……and all along the way the Lord has told me to just point to Him.  That’s all.  He is in the driver’s seat.  He holds the plans for my son.  He knows where he is going.

Today I listen to my child worship with his gift of music, and the Lord’s presence humbles me as I witness His handiwork in Jax.  I see Jax’s nature in how he loves others, and I smile at God’s glory.   I watch as my child makes decisions and develops habits,  and I thank God he allows me to see His manifestations in my child.  How great is the joy when it is His glory I behold.  How pathetic it would have been to see only what I could have done. 

How I praise you, Lord, for picking me up, taking me out of the driver’s seat, yet letting me enjoy this ride with you.  To say you’ve taken me on the beautiful scenic route would be an understatement. 

And I just can’t wait to see what’s ahead!

Happy Birthday, Son!

Truth  

Get out of the way, Mama

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I’ve noticed in this season of waiting my senses are at their peak for anything that might be a leading or directive from the Lord.  One night I laid still in my bed with a deafening silence around me.  I mentioned to the Lord if he wanted to go ahead and say something to me I was “all ears” and ready.  Silence.  It was so silent the proverbial crickets that should have been chirping could not be heard.  Nothing.  “Well, O.K., Lord.”  I said.  “I understand this is sometimes how you are.  I understand.  I guess I”ll just….um…..go on to sleep now.”  And oft I drifted to sleep in the silence.

The next morning I bound out of bed.  “His mercies are new every morning.  Great is thy faithfulness!”  (Lamentations 3:23).  Surely the Lord had something new he wanted to share with me that day!  With hunger and excitement for the Word, I opened and read James 2.  It was full of good stories.  One was about Abraham and Isaac……how Abraham was faithful, but he was considered righteousness when he laid Isaac on the altar.  “Faith without deeds is dead”, verse 26 says.  It was a good read.  It wasn’t the story about a house selling or a job found as I had hoped and felt I needed.   But, you know,  ol’ Abraham and Isaac……always good.  Next on the reading list was Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  “Entrust your loved ones to me; release them into My protective care.” (August 23 entry)  “Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac.”  Hmmm.  ”Abraham and Isaac” again.   Well, again, it wasn’t the story I was seeking, but OK.  That is what I was given for the day…….so there. 

It was time to move on with the day following my reading.  My two older sons had a football scrimmage in the late afternoon, and my oldest son, Jace, was causing me some concerns especially the closer it came to game time.  Immunizations earlier in the week had caused flu-like symptoms and were putting a kink in the flow of our schedule.  He felt awful, and I was beginning to feel the tension in me of whether we should push on with the commitment or let my motherly sympathies overrule.  I’ve learned, being the mother of boys, sometimes you have to just keep pressing on even though I really just want to wrap him up in a blanket and rock him until all is well in the world.  I tried calling John for help;  he was tied up in meetings and couldn’t respond.  Ugh!  The decision was mine…….to go or not to go.  We drove to the school in silence and frustration.  The school bus awaited to take the team to the town of the game…..a town two hours away.  Just the look of the bus turned my stomach as well.  I hated it!  A school bus……100+ temperature outside……riding with kids Jace still didn’t really know…….an upset stomach……football.  Ugh!  Would he just spend his time throwing up on that bus?  What a way to continue to introduce yourself as the new kid!   My oldest looked at me like I was cruel and loosing my mind as I pushed him out of the car to get on the bus.  Surely I was about to be named ”Mother of the Year”. 

But as I drove away from my son and the bus, I felt the rush of the stories of Abraham and Isaac read earlier in the day, and I realized the Lord had indeed given what was needed.  “Give your son to me!“  I know I heard God say to me.  “This is between me and him.  I need you out of the way.  Give Jace to me!”.Tears rolled down my cheeks as peace flowed.  

So, what happened on the bus?  He did not get sick (Praises!), but he did sit with a boy who eventually asked “How can I get to Heaven?”  The good news of the gospel was shared to which the boy responded, “I have never heard that before.” 

Lord, thank you for giving what you know we need daily.  I pray I savor your Word and not dismiss. I pray for wisdom as a mother to know when to intervene and when you want me out of your way.  You are doing a work that is just between you and my boy, for he is your son first.  I trust you.  In Jesus name, I pray, Amen. 

“The unfolding of your words give light; it gives understanding to the simple.”  Psalm 119:130

“For you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”  Revelation 4:11b

Truth

 

Thoughts on mothering

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I think my first born was in kindergarten before he learned how to sleep through the night.  I may be serious with that statement, but it also might just feel that way.   Sleep deprivation muddied the clarity of those memories.  Those were the days and years when I was needed for every physical need of my three little ones.   Whether it was morning or night, their needs did not respect the time; I was on-call 24/7.

The days came when they were able to do some things on their own:  dressing, going to the bathroom, getting a drink, preparing for bed, etc.  I must admit, these changes were sweet relief for this mama.  But while my physical body was able to rest a little, other needs began rising to the surface.  Mothering changed from handling the physical to navigating and teaching the heart, equally demanding and exhausting.

I’m 44 years old and have lived enough life to have learned about waiting on God, pruning, growing, relationships, forgiving, etc.  I haven’t mastered these areas, but I do know about them.  I see the questions in my children’s eyes:  “Mom, what is ‘this’?  What am I supposed to do with ‘this’?”  We sit down, and talk life.  I introduce them to terms they will forever need to know:  waiting, trusting, pruning, humility, listening.  We open the living  and active Word, and the Bible stories they were taught when little begin to take new meaning.   Someday they will be able to do all this on their own, but right now I’m walking it with them showing them “where to put what arm in what hole, what leg through which opening” so to say.

To mothers:  May you look to the Lord as your child looks to you, and may you receive the strength He will give for the task He has also given.   May your ears, eyes, heart, and mind be open to what it is your Father would have you know this day.  Celebrate His strength in our weakness, and that ultimately He is the one directing and teaching His child.  May we cry out for wisdom to the One who gives generously to all without finding fault (James 1:5).  May we pass on truth with grace, mercy, discipline, and love that is given freely to us.   

“Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” 

Psalm 25:4-5

Truth