Category Archives: Word

The Desert and the Deep

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“…and He led them through the deep as through a desert.”  Psalm 106:9

I suppose you could call this phase I’m in a desert season.  It has been a long journey of waiting and being blind to what is ahead.  It is a time of not belonging having been moved from one home yet not given another to call my own.  I exist and am carried, but not allowed to grow roots.  Yes, I guess I would call it a desert season too.

But in this season, the Giver of Life has been the leader and watching over me.  He knows where He is taking me.  At times I have felt like an Israelite being led out of a country and all I can visibly see is an enemy, that is…lies, chasing me.  The Guide has led me to areas where I don’t see how I can pass, and that is when He has parted “the Sea” and asked me to step into the deep.

The pages of His Word I hold in my hands part and my eyes fall on truth, and this is the walk in “The Deep”.  I read, “Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding,” (Proverbs 3:5), and I drink it down hard and take a step.  I look up and see the Lord’s arm above me raised to keep my path clear…..and I walk on.  Page after page, step after step,  tells me how much He loves me and how He is holding all.  The stories of the ones He led before me are rich and adventurous and declare His character, power, might, beauty, and glory.  Isn’t God the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow? (Hebrews 13:8)  I walk further into the deep with Him, the Spirit testifying to the truth, and I know I want the same kind of story as heroes of faith (Hebrews 11) before me.  The Lord is worthy, and I want to see His glory.

In the deep the ground I walk still feels like desert, but I have seen walls of life and treasures I might not have grasped otherwise.  The deep, His rich Word,  washes over my enemies destroying all lies yet keeps my path clear, and I breathe life. His Word is once again a miracle to me. 

Am I in a desert?  I suppose.  But I’m living walking in the deep and will reach the other side of this season not parched but full to give all glory and praise to the One who leads.

I know this.  I can feel it already!

See how I love your precepts;
    preserve my life, Lord, in accordance with your love.
160 All your words are true;
    all your righteous laws are eternal.   Psalm 119: 159-160

Who among the gods is like you, Lord?
Who is like you—    majestic in holiness,
awesome in glory, working wonders?  Exodus 15:11

(The Song of Moses of Miriam)

He rebuked the Red Sea, and it dried up;
    he led them through the depths as through a desert.
10 He saved them from the hand of the foe;
    from the hand of the enemy he redeemed them.
11 The waters covered their adversaries;
    not one of them survived.
12 Then they believed his promises
    and sang his praise.  Psalm 106:9-12

Truth

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Green Pastures

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The phrase “green pastures” is kinda special to me.  Oh, I love its reference in the Word and the visual imagery it brings. But, there has been something about the way this phrase has been repeatedly given to me that has my heart pricked.  I could go a step further and tell you that every time I look at a clock and it reads 10:23 I pray a “green pastures” dream that means something to me……..but then you would know I was weird.

Anyway…….

I remember sitting in a chair on Oct. 1, 2008 while my mother was in surgery for breast cancer.  Not knowing what to do with myself while I waited, I picked up Psalms and turned to the 23rd chapter.  What leaped off the page that day was verse 2:

“He makes me lie down in green pastures………”

He makes me…..

He MAKES me……

When my heart and mind run wild……..He MAKES me lie down.

Knowing that the phrase “green pastures” is special to me, you can imagine how my ears perked yesterday during my Bible study led by Priscilla Shirer titled He Speaks to Me…….Preparing to Hear From God.  She referenced “Green Pastures” through the story in John 6 when Jesus fed 5000 people.

“Jesus said, ‘Have the people sit down.’  There was plenty of grass in that place, and the men sat down, about 5000 of them.”  John 6:10

A green pasture is where they sat, and it was there and in that position where they were fed.  Priscilla goes on to explain what our “green pastures” are…….places of rest and stillness where there is also life.  They are places of knowing His Word, His works, and His faithful history.  It is dwelling on what we know of Him and leaning on trust.  Green pastures are places to sit and remember.

“He makes me lie down in green pastures…..”

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So today as He makes me lie in my green pasture, what am I remembering?

  • I’m remembering various times of God’s provision in seasons I didn’t know where else it was going to come from.
  • I’m remembering how clear He made big decisions that John and I have had to make and the overwhelming peace that followed His clarity.
  • I’m remembering the verses I’m meditating on regarding trust.
  • I’m remembering God who created all, who parted the Red Sea for Moses, who brought down walls of Jericho, and so much more is the same God of today and tomorrow.
  • I’m remembering……..

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.   Psalm 23:1-3

Truth

 

Holding Mud

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mud in hand

 

 

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When “the mud” (a.k.a. our current transition situation) was first handed to me, I looked expectantly like it was clay instead of mud.  What was my Potter going to make with this clay?  I was nervous…….yet excited too. In the beginning His hand was so evident, moving quickly, preparing and positioning us.  God thought of every little detail…….even the ones that hadn’t crossed my mind yet.  After a lot of activity, He stepped away telling me He’ll be back and to just hold on.

Hold the mud and wait.

It’s uncomfortable.  It is starting to ooze through my fingers.  Surely I’m dropping pieces on the floor.  It’s a mess.  There is no form!  What good is this?  Am I really supposed to keep holding this slop?   I listen for His footsteps and try to peer around corners.  Can I hear him?  Can I just catch a glimpse?

Nothing

Our children have been full of questions just as we have been: “When will we move?  Where will we live?  What school will we go to? What will we do during this school break?  Will we see home again?”.  I have not had answers, but I do have truth.  “THIS, Sons, is what it looks like to walk by faith and not by sight.  I. Don’t. Know.”  And there has been nothing more to discuss.

When the waiting is long and answers don’t seem anywhere near in sight the temptation is to think that it is now up to me to take control.  I confess to saying in prayer, “So…. is this it, Lord?  Are you finished?  Am I just supposed to figure out how to handle things from here?”.  Surely this is how Sarah felt when still not holding her promised child (Genesis 16).

“This, Abby, is what it is to walk by faith and not by sight”,  and I do hear my Father speak.  There is nothing more really to discuss…….even though I do try.

A verse caught my attention months before “the mud” was handed to me, and today I am being reminded of it.    I even wrote it on my chalkboard in our house because I loved it so……and it is still there for potential house buyers to read:

Ephesians 1:11

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
Everything.  He is working it out.  He didn’t just work half of this out for me to then take the other half.  Everything.  Every detail.  Everything.  Let me say it again……..everything!
He is working it all out, and in this He needs me to be still and wait.
This “mud” I hold…….actually, it is really clay.
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?
Truth

 

Someday (a peek into one of my dreams)

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{No…..this is not an apron sewn by Si of Duck Dynasty (that show is providing our family much comic relief during this season!).  It was actually made by the Red Threads Movement.…….a ministry that provides a fair trade income for girls rescued from sex trafficking.  You can find out more about this truly amazing work here.}  

One of the desires of my heart is hosting and having ministry in my home.  I love getting the house ready, preparing a little treat (or big one!), creating an environment, sharing life, and talking, talking, and more talking about the Word.  Currently this is a longing not yet fulfilled as we are in the middle of transition, trying to sell our house in Kansas, and currently living 9 hours away in Texas not in our own home but with our dear generous parents.  For years we had a study group for women and also one for men meeting weekly at our house.   It was truly one of my biggest joys and something I miss horribly.  In addition, I loved hosting our small group, having times one on one with another, having big talk sessions with our son’s friends, etc.

John and I both share this passion, but right now all of that is on hold.  We truly have no idea what is ahead of us.  We don’t know really where we will end up living, what we will live in, or when that will be yet this longing in my heart continues to stir.  I have prayed that if my dreams don’t match what God has ahead of me for Him to take them away……knowing that He will be more than faithful to replace what it is He does want.  The flip side is that I have also prayed that if a desire is from Him that He will continue to stir, churn, and grow the dream.  I have prayed for God to take what we enjoyed in our home before and establish it again……even grow it.

This past Christmas, my friend Jamie who knows my heart and all it longs for, gave me a precious gift.  With tears streaming down my face, she handed me a candle and had me listen carefully as she read the Word over me:

Matthew 5:13-16

The Message (MSG)

Salt and Light

13 “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

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This longing in my heart continues.  I don’t know what it will look like someday when we get on the other side of this transition.  It could look a number of very different ways, but I rest that God is the one who places desires/passions in each one of us and also is going ahead of us preparing the works. The truth I’m living everyday is He also works on His own time.  I’ve heard it said before He is slow but never late.  Uncomfortable……but so true.  It is in this waiting time though that I am learning what is in the core of my heart, and I’m having time to pray through all of it.  If He is the one putting the desire/dreams in me, won’t He be the one to provide the ministry?

 Someday, I believe I will get to host ministry again wherever I live.  I’ll light the candle from Jamie, don my new apron, celebrate God’s faithfulness, rejoice in opportunity, and know to my core that whatever good comes from it will be only from the Lord and not of my own doing.  This is His work I’m joining Him in.  He knows what He is doing and is already working His handiwork.  Glory!

What about you?  What is a dream/passion placed in you?  Are you living it right now?

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Truth

Test

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It’s halftime of the big game, and my youngest and I break from Beyonce to study math.  He mentioned to me minutes earlier, “Oh yeah, I have a test tomorrow.”  It is math but not so much numbers as it is definitions of shapes, angles, and lines.

To study I mimic the test giving a definition for him to match with a name.  It is a little rough for him, and together we read again and again breaking down definitions into smaller bite-sized pieces.  I come up with gimmicks to spark his mind, and John joins with a tablet to draw and to show him visually what we are saying with our mouths.  He is ready to be quizzed again for the test, and this is right because I know Jayton knows this stuff.

“What are two lines intersecting at a point and forming together a 90 degree angle?”.

He looks at me mouth slowly opening wanting to speak and yet holding back as well.

“Yes, son, you know this.  Just say it.”

“Per……..”

“Yes!  Yes!” and I’m nodding dramatically motioning for him to keep going.

“Per…..pen…….”

“Yes, son!  You are right.  Speak it bold!”

“Perpendic………”

“Yes!  You’ve got this!”

“Perpendicular.”

“Yes!  Son, you know this.  Believe that you do.  You will do well on your test.  You’re ready.”

This morning that boy climbed out of our car and into his school, and I drove away to begin another day of living my test.

It’s been a little rough I must admit.  I question much because I can’t see much.  I actually can not see ANYTHING at all ahead of me.

“Will you trust me?” God speaks to me.

The Word is held open for me and bite sized pieces are handed to me.  I’m reminded of Moses and how he only saw he was between charging Egyptians and a Red Sea.  He trusted….obeyed…..and was saved.  The Israelites saw a rushing Jordan in the way of their Promised Land.  “Step into the rushing water, and then the waters will part” they were told.  They trusted……obeyed…..and were saved.  The progression is given to me time and time again for the rhythm to spark my mind.  Trust…….obey……..be saved.  Trust……obey……be saved.

I mull this over and over in my mind and hear my Lord speak over me again, “You know this, Abby.  Do this.”

God shows me again the visual and has my eyes land on what of Him I can see.  I bow, say thanks, and feel Him smiling and nodding His head.  “Yes!  Yes!  I know you see……now keep going.”

“Lord, ……I……do……trust…….”

“Yes!  Yes!” He says to me.  “I’ve taught you.  Walk in this test!.”

“I trust you……..and…. will….. obey.”

“Yes!” He says. “This is about trust, but it is also about obeying.  You know this, Abby!  Live this test!” 

Trust………..obey………..be saved.    Trust……..obey………be saved.

Psalm 31:14

But I trust in you, Lord; I say, “You are my God.”
Isaiah 25:9

In that day they will say,“Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and he saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”
Truth
 

Gift of Truth

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In 2005, my dear friend (that term just doesn’t do her justice!) Kelli faced a move she and her husband had not anticipated.  They knew God was leading, so forward they marched through the transition process.  She made herself a book filled with scriptures about trusting and waiting on God who is most faithful and capable of doing more than we could ask or imagine.  She wrote these promises down on index cards and just placed them in a cheap photo sleeve book.  I saw her holding this book numerous times. It was with her everywhere she went thus anchoring her mind and supplying her with a steady digest of truth.

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Last August, I moved away from this best friend and mentor.  Through tears because our hearts were ripping, she handed me a gift……her 2005 book of trust.  I just doubled over when I unwrapped it knowing not only what it meant to her (and how she had seen the fulfillment of the promises), but also because I knew it would be a way of survival (mind, heart, spirit) for me.

I carry it everywhere I go.

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There have been times I’ve sat with it almost hyperventilating only to slow down and catch my breath again.  At other times I’ve poured over the promises with joy and worship rejoicing in God who is alive.  It is all truth, and yes, it has set me free time and time again. I love these scriptures are in her handwriting.  While we now live apart, I still have a sister’s “voice” encouraging and speaking truth over me.

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Four years ago my mother had surgery for breast cancer.  Her dear friend did something similar with little pink cards tied together with ribbon.  Each card had a verse……a promise….of God’s love and faithfulness.  I still picture the cards beside her bed on her nightstand…..close to her…..feeding her truth when most hungry.  She still holds on to the gift of those promise cards.

Need a gift idea?  Maybe even a gift to yourself?  Let me testify the gift of truth keeps giving and giving and will forever be a cherished favorite. 

(In case you would like to know the verses in the book, I’ll list them for you:  Psalm 37:4, Psalm 37:5 &7, I Thess. 5:24, Proverbs 3:5-6, Luke 1:45, Psalm 22:4-5, Psalm 9:10, Psalm 4:5, Job 39:11-12, II Chronicles 26: 4-5, Psalm 62:8, Psalm 27:14, Isaiah 40:11, Jeremiah 6:16, Romans 15:13, John 14:1, Isaiah 26:4, Isaiah 12:2, Psalm 143:8, Psalm 91:2, Psalm 56:3, Proverbs 15:22, Daniel 10:19, Psalm 115:1, Psalm 31:14, Joshua 23:14, I Peter 1:13, Ephesians 2:10, II Timothy 2:21, I Corinthians 1:8-9, Deut. 31:8, Jeremiah 29:10-11, I Peter 5:10, John 1:16, Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 30:20-21.  Whew!  That is a lot of promises, and just think!  There are more where those came from!)

Joshua 21:45

Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.
Truth

Good versus Great Story

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John and I recently went to a movie we had been eagerly anticipating only to walk out disappointed.

“Why?” you ask.  ”Was it just a bad movie.”

Well, let me tell you.  The sets of the various scenes were well done and beautiful and filled with a lot of things my artistic eye enjoys.  The work of turning the actors/actresses into the characters portrayed was a masterpiece.  But with all the beautify of the movie, for me, the story itself was boring and fell flat…….a story that actually is one of the best to be told.  I don’t think I’m entirely off in my opinion because we witnessed several leaving the theater and almost everyone continually checked their clock for the time.

Maybe we were just expecting too much.  Quite possibly.

I’m living a story myself, and when I get to the end of it I don’t want to think, “Well, that just fell flat.”  As an artist, I love all things beautiful, but beauty alone will not make a story great.  In fact, the story itself must have depth, richness, plot, conflict, truth, meaning, humor, climax, etc. in order for the beauty to even make sense.

So what am I embracing to live out a great story?

God has written and holds the plans for my life, and that plan is great.  He tells me that in black and white.  But what is the Lord also saying to me?  He tells me not to be surprised because there will be trouble.  He says to be strong and courageous.  Why?  Is that going to be needed in these great plans of His?  He tells me there is an enemy lurking to devour, that there will be darkness, that many will be deceived.  But in all this conflict, He turns to me, the one living my story, and says that He will fight for me, that in darkness light will be all the more bright, to keep my eyes open because it is His glory I will see, that He has given His Son and died for me, and through that He. Has. Overcome. The. World!

The only way I will end my story disappointed is if I don’t expect and believe Him to be all He says He is.  That alone doesn’t just affect the very end of my story, but every single scene along the way.  I cannot expect or believe Him too much.

Now, does that mean my expectations will live and look the way I think they will?

No, not likely.  At least, that hasn’t been the case for me so far.

But isn’t that the difference between a good story ……

…….and one that is great!

Isaiah 49:23
….then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

John 11:40
Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Truth

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Chewing on a Proverb

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“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

How many times has this verse been given to me as a refreshing drink?  I’ve let it run into me tasting its beauty, nodding to its truth, and have declared, “Oh, that is good!”  Once again, it has been handed to me,  I’ve lifted it to my mouth to ingest, only this time it has not been the element that has just slid down my throat.  Instead I’m finding I’m needing to sit, really sink my teeth into it, and chew on it a while lest I choke. 

“……..not on your own understanding.”

There is much I don’t understand right now.  I don’t understand God’s timing, the technicalities of a physical move, financial issues, kids/school situations, where to live, etc.  Do you really want to hear my whole list?  No, really you don’t.

 “Lean not” I hear as my jaw closes. 

  • Don’t form that mental picture. 
  • Don’t study your calendar to try to figure out when. 
  • Don’t hang on to the familiar. 
  • Don’t put dependence on my own strength.
  • Dont…….. 

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart………” and my teeth sink once again. 

  • Could there be another vision He wants to show me?
  • Could He be up to something I just don’t know yet?
  • Has He ever been late or even missed something completely?
  • Isn’t He the giver of every gift meant to perfect me and isn’t He the one who orchestrates every season?
  • He is not leaving me……..and doesn’t He give grace at different proportions at different times to allow us to walk His path for us?
  • Hasn’t He shown himself faithful to me time and time and time again?

So I wait.

I lean not on what I know. 

I trust Him alone.

And I chew on His Word.  It is there I taste truth again and become nourished and strengthened.  Oh, He is and will forever be good!

“You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.” 

 Psalm 119:114

“Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth; for I have put my hope in your laws…….I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts……..I lift up my hands to your commands, which I love, and I meditate on your decrees.”  Psalm 119:  43, 45, 48.

Truth

 

Get out of the way, Mama

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I’ve noticed in this season of waiting my senses are at their peak for anything that might be a leading or directive from the Lord.  One night I laid still in my bed with a deafening silence around me.  I mentioned to the Lord if he wanted to go ahead and say something to me I was “all ears” and ready.  Silence.  It was so silent the proverbial crickets that should have been chirping could not be heard.  Nothing.  “Well, O.K., Lord.”  I said.  “I understand this is sometimes how you are.  I understand.  I guess I”ll just….um…..go on to sleep now.”  And oft I drifted to sleep in the silence.

The next morning I bound out of bed.  “His mercies are new every morning.  Great is thy faithfulness!”  (Lamentations 3:23).  Surely the Lord had something new he wanted to share with me that day!  With hunger and excitement for the Word, I opened and read James 2.  It was full of good stories.  One was about Abraham and Isaac……how Abraham was faithful, but he was considered righteousness when he laid Isaac on the altar.  “Faith without deeds is dead”, verse 26 says.  It was a good read.  It wasn’t the story about a house selling or a job found as I had hoped and felt I needed.   But, you know,  ol’ Abraham and Isaac……always good.  Next on the reading list was Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  “Entrust your loved ones to me; release them into My protective care.” (August 23 entry)  “Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac.”  Hmmm.  ”Abraham and Isaac” again.   Well, again, it wasn’t the story I was seeking, but OK.  That is what I was given for the day…….so there. 

It was time to move on with the day following my reading.  My two older sons had a football scrimmage in the late afternoon, and my oldest son, Jace, was causing me some concerns especially the closer it came to game time.  Immunizations earlier in the week had caused flu-like symptoms and were putting a kink in the flow of our schedule.  He felt awful, and I was beginning to feel the tension in me of whether we should push on with the commitment or let my motherly sympathies overrule.  I’ve learned, being the mother of boys, sometimes you have to just keep pressing on even though I really just want to wrap him up in a blanket and rock him until all is well in the world.  I tried calling John for help;  he was tied up in meetings and couldn’t respond.  Ugh!  The decision was mine…….to go or not to go.  We drove to the school in silence and frustration.  The school bus awaited to take the team to the town of the game…..a town two hours away.  Just the look of the bus turned my stomach as well.  I hated it!  A school bus……100+ temperature outside……riding with kids Jace still didn’t really know…….an upset stomach……football.  Ugh!  Would he just spend his time throwing up on that bus?  What a way to continue to introduce yourself as the new kid!   My oldest looked at me like I was cruel and loosing my mind as I pushed him out of the car to get on the bus.  Surely I was about to be named ”Mother of the Year”. 

But as I drove away from my son and the bus, I felt the rush of the stories of Abraham and Isaac read earlier in the day, and I realized the Lord had indeed given what was needed.  “Give your son to me!“  I know I heard God say to me.  “This is between me and him.  I need you out of the way.  Give Jace to me!”.Tears rolled down my cheeks as peace flowed.  

So, what happened on the bus?  He did not get sick (Praises!), but he did sit with a boy who eventually asked “How can I get to Heaven?”  The good news of the gospel was shared to which the boy responded, “I have never heard that before.” 

Lord, thank you for giving what you know we need daily.  I pray I savor your Word and not dismiss. I pray for wisdom as a mother to know when to intervene and when you want me out of your way.  You are doing a work that is just between you and my boy, for he is your son first.  I trust you.  In Jesus name, I pray, Amen. 

“The unfolding of your words give light; it gives understanding to the simple.”  Psalm 119:130

“For you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”  Revelation 4:11b

Truth

 

Today

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"Today"…….I love the ordinary yet extraordinary nature of that word.  While it defines a point on the calendar, it brings to mind of how God, in his infinite wisdom, created constant times that could be used for fresh beginnings and renewal.  New years, new months, new weeks, new seasons, and yes, new days.  Even in a day, God has created new hours, minutes, even seconds.  These fresh times are something He knew we would need. 

 

 "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22-23

 

In thinking about the blessing of a new day, I was led to look in my concordance for verses about "new".  Whew!  Now there is an exercise that will leave you shouting "Hallelujah!"  That brings the concept of newness to a whole other level:  new covenant, new heart, new life, etc.  Since this day is still called "Today", let me encourage you (Hebrews 3:13) to pick up your sword and pursue, ……no let soak in some of those truth.  Everyone loves something new.

Here is a gem worth noting.  It is a verse quoted three times in the Word.  Hmmmmmmm.  Could the Lord have a point He wants to remind us?

 

"You are my Son; today I have become your Father."  (Psalm 2:7, Acts 13:33. and Hebrews 1:5)

A declaration of truth over me……and over you.  That is who I am today.  That is who He is today.  And while I love new beginnings, I treasure that there is One that is the same yesterday, and today, and forever.  My Lord, My God.  Praise Him!

May today you walk in the renewal of joy of being a child of a most incredible Father.  Listen to Him.